A few fun and famous insults which are to be enjoyed, rather than used.
These "fun and
insults" are meant for a laugh, rather than to actually be used on people.
1. I have seen people who looked like you before, but I was charged at the door.
2. "I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception." Groucho Marx
3. That red jumper matches your nose.
4. "He could never see a belt without hitting below it." Margot Asquith
5. Nice to meet you. I’m human, what are you?
6. “Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.” Unknown
7. "Teflon brain (nothing sticks.)" Lily Tomlin
8. When you wash, try putting the soap an inch or two closer to your armpits.
9. "Fine words! I wonder where you stole them." Jonathan Swift
10. Don’t go near the Chamber of Horrors, they won’t let you out.
11. Were you born this nasty, or did it take years of practice?
12. “Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?” Milton Berle
13. “Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice...” Unknown
14. "There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." Jack E. Leonard
15. "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
16. “Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.” Unknown
17. Sure, I can give you a hand, but isn’t it really a face you need?
18. "I can't believe that out of 100,000 sperm, you were the quickest." Steven Pear
19. I won’t ask you age, I can only count up so far …
20. "Be careful when reading health books; you may die of a misprint." Mark Twain
21. I don't want to insult idiots by calling you stupid.
22. "You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?" Groucho Marx
23. You are as useful to the world as a tin opener on a desert island.
24. "Ordinarily he is insane. But he has lucid moments when he is only stupid." Heinrich Heine
25. Why don’t you get a haircut, you look like a spaniel.
26. "He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career." George Bernard Shaw
27. "If he ever had a bright idea it would be beginner's luck." William Lashner "Veritas"
28. I thought of you all day as I walked round the zoo.
29. “Are you always this stupid or are you just making a special effort today?” Unknown
30. Normally when people start at the bottom, they climb …
Photo courtesy Morgue Files